How (not) to make a Jedi Costume

First, you must give yourself less than two weeks before said costume must be ready.

Then surf around online, discover that there are really big Star Wars nerds out there, and steal some of their ideas.

Wait a few more days to buy fabric, because you need your husband to drive you to the fabric store because you don’t have a car.

Put down the flannel you are holding in favor of the big role of burlap your husband holds up. It looks right. Forget everything you know about drape and fabric and how the stuff feels really nasty because, hey, it’s cheap.

Next you must sew these. Don’t ask why, just trust me, it has to be done. You can’t start a new project without finishing an old one. This skirt that you started converting into two sundresses months ago must be completed before any other sewing happens. Plus they can wear the little outfits to the birthday party they are going to the next day.

Oh yeah, make a tutu for the birthday girl as a gift.

Finally, on Saturday night, you now have less than one week, cut out the robe.

Cut it as one giant piece like a poncho with sleeves. Think yourself very clever because you only need to sew sides seams and hem it. And add a hood.

Be a goof and cut the arm holes too small. That way you’ll have plenty to do at 2am when you are squinting at the thing with a stitch ripper and putting in gussets to make the arm holes the right size.

Realize that you can’t do normal finished seam with burlap, it’s too stiff. Run out of brown thread while blanket stitching everything so it doesn’t fray.

Decide to work on the tunic now. Opt for taking apart one of your husband’s old shirts instead of buying new fabric. Start taking it apart and then take a picture.

You may only sew this costume at at night, so during the day you will make a tiny little leotard for the Baby’s ballerina costume. Because if you are all going to a costume party, the girls need costumes too. Sweetly, the Boy thinks he’s wearing one of the costumes you made him last year, and isn’t complaining at all. It’s a good cover for having the sewing machine out.

Actually, the tunic will work out fairly well. And then you can make a belt out of the bit you cut off the back so it’s longer in front than the back like a “real” Jedi tunic.

Be sure to sew a light saber holder on the belt, This will earn you everlasting cool mom points.

Finally, pay the women at the sewing machine repair store, that’s in walking distance, an exorbitant price for more thread. Cut out and sew in gussets. (They are diamond shaped in case you are hoping to reproduce this.) Blanket stitch it all to heck and then sew on the hood. It is way to big, but you will wait to alter it until after he opens his present. Because it’s now 2 am the day before his birthday and you are still sewing.

Start eating marshmallows to stay awake, one at a time at 5 minutes intervals to keep you stimulated. Reflect that you don’t really like marshmallows, but it’s the only sweet thing in the house, and you really don’t like coffee so… (4 days later you will go on a candida cleanse and eschew all sugar for 2 weeks so that you don’t feel quite so polluted.)

Cut apart a brown skirt that never fit quite right to make trousers. Take a picture after you’ve started cutting. Decide to wait to finish the trousers until the next day.

Give him the tunic and robe on his birthday for a present. He will think you are beyond cool, which makes the sleepless nights worth it.

Sew his pants the next afternoon while 10 kids run across the carpet where you are cutting the last pieces.

At your mother in law’s house that night you will sew a pink shift on which you will attach yards and yards of tulle to finish a fairy princess costume. But first you will make another tutu for the Baby.

You will finish it the next day just before lunch, only to madly clean up and make soup because you have guests coming. Only they don’t show, and you are mostly relieved.

One hour before the party the GH announces that he is going to wear the kilt he married you in. With variations. What are you going to wear?

You want to puke at the thought of coming up with another costume.

After quiet time you will get everyone dressed and in their costumes while he wanders around yelling, “I had a kilt pin, do you know where it is.” You will ignore him and continue applying glitter glue to the Girl’s arms and face and hair. (Fairies have to be glittery.)

Once everyone is ready, it is too late to take a proper picture and you toss them all in the car before running back inside.

You throw on a sari that is hanging in your closet. You are silently thankful to the woman who made it up for you for making it so easy to put on. You run back out to the car.

You snap these pictures as people get out of the car and the light is fading.

Was it worth it?

Of course!




Even if you do look exhausted in all the photos.

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