19 months

Dear Bam Bam,

Sometime in the past few months you have gone all the way from toddler to little boy, a little boy who doesn’t talk yet.

You are fun, so much fun, and super intense. You want to PLAY! You smile and laugh and giggle, and ask for more: more tickles, more swinging around, more of looking at me. You are all alive, brilliantly, brightly alive.

I could not believe you were strong enough to lower yourself down here, but you were and did it over and over again.

For 3 days we fought about whether or not you would sit in your highchair to eat. I forced you into it and strapped you down, you angrily refused to eat, I refused to let you eat unless you were sitting down. It took until 2pm for you to eat anything that one day.

And then I saw you climb your way onto the bench at the table between your brother and your sister and look proudly at each of them, laughing when you saw them laugh, imitating their gestures and pulling yourself up tall, so proud to be one of the gang. So I put the high chair away and pulled out the booster seat so you could join the family at the table. Now I fight with you about staying seated while at the table, you get so excited.

You are the instigator, the distractor, the excuse in this house. “I didn’t do my job because BamBam was sitting on me mommy.” “But he was chasing me, I had to hide.” He’s taking away all my pencils, (Because I’m laying on the floor where he can reach them.)” Who would they blame for their failure to do their work if you weren’t around, hmmm? 🙂

Today at lunch we were all taking turns quizzing each other out of these little question books we just got. People were shooting their hands up to answer and then we all looked over at you and you were throwing both hands into the air and grinning madly because you had figured out the game and were playing too. It was awesome.

You wave goodbye as if your life depended on it running while madly flailing your arm. You hug the legs of people you like, the list is growing every day, and lay you head on their leg as you do.

You love your evening routine. You’ve figured that part of the day out. First there’s a bath, and then your dinosaur robe, and then I spread out a towel for you to lay down on and you get down on it, all by yourself, while I put on your diaper and jammies. You know that after this you will get mommy and daddy to yourself for a while because the big kids are already in bed and that’s when you light up like Christmas and pull out all of the cute.

You throw the hugest fits now, like you’re already 2. It’s funny when small people are so passionately angry about things like, having the sharp knife taken away BEFORE you managed to put it in your mouth, or moving the stool you were climbing away from the hot stove, or bringing you in from the street and shutting the gate so you CAN’T run out into traffic. You are the throw yourself on the round and scream sort of fit thrower. We try not to let you see just how funny it is, since it’s our job to teach you not to do it very soon.

You’re a little OCD about shutting doors.

 You have all your teeth now! All of them. The past 4 days are the 1st time in your entire life that you don’t have huge drool marks down the front of your shirt. Yay, no more wet shirts.

It’s bittersweet to watch you grow, to try things, and fall, and get up again, fearless, and to say goodbye to the little baby that you once were. But you are so much fun and personality right now that it’s easy to rejoice in who you are becoming.

“dddthiisss” your only word.

I love you dearly,

your mama.