Trying to look up

Sunday afternoon driving home from church, the scenery is beautiful, puffy clouds and green hills, still lagoons and the occasional glimpse of ocean, and I am slapping myself in the face just to stay awake on the 40 minute drive and not have an accident.

Zie Photography

This could be a pretty good metaphor for the rest of my life right now. Aaron has been home exactly 20 hours so far this November, after being gone almost all of October and half of September before that. We’re planning our first ever fundraiser event in a physical location for this Saturday. The work piles up, the kids they need and pull and cling and bicker and try to climb me, crowding so close on the couch that I start to feel like swatting things.

I know there is beauty all around me still, even if I’m staring only at the black asphalt and the bumper of the car in front of me and smacking myself in the face to try and not fall apart.

Zie Photography

The gifts list calls to me to wake up, to look around, to notice what is always there, even when I feel too weary to notice it.

Zie Photography

Bam Bam smiled and walked straight to Aaron when he got home this time, even though he only saw him for  few hours last week.

Zie Photography

The way I can touch my thumb and forefinger together while circling Little’s petite little wrist.

Zie Photography

A friend bringing lunch over this week.

Same friend came over at 11:30 on a Friday night with her bigger kids so I could run to an ATM without waking the babies because internet banking was down all weekend at my bank.

Zie Photography

baby boy cheeks

Zie Photography

All the people helping and giving and pulling together to make things happen, totally volunteer.

The Boy has a new friend to play with.

Zie Photography

 Plans for seeing friends Thanksgiving week.

Momentum, it’s exciting and hopeful.

Zie Photography

A boy who gladly reads to his sisters.

Little keeps hiding all the pine cones in a decorative basket in the living room so I can search for them. She’s convinced that she is making a very fun game for me and helps me by telling me if I am warm or cold.

Zie Photography

No one but the baby woke me up last night.

Aaron’s home for the rest of the month tomorrow.

puffy clouds skidding across rain washed skies.

Zie Photography

 All 4 kids crowded together onto 1 rocking chair and laughing.

A friends daughter takes photo after photo of my kids that are beautiful. She’s helping me look up. (Her mother wants her to stay anonymous on the internet but all the photos in this post are by her, Zie Photography is the name she chose. She’s 13! This girl definitely has talent.)