3 months

Dear Jellybean,

You are 3 months old already. I completely forgot about writing you a monthly letter like I did for Little until this week. It’s part of being the 4th child I suppose, your mommy will always be slightly distracted. Sorry about that.

But you, you are a joy to have around. Since day one you have been so peaceful and content. Aside from the initial “how rude to shove me out here where it’s cold and I have to breath air” cries, your cries were more like experiments than anything else. You would make a little bit of a sound, and then fall quiet and wait to see what happened. If I didn’t do anything for you right away you just made another little sound and waited again. I’ve never seen a baby do that before. You were so content and trusted that someone would come if you needed them.

Your big sister loves you and I have to protect you from her love. She kisses and pats and rubs and gets right in your face yelling “hello buddyboy!” She has recently taken to trying to undress you when I’m not looking. She thinks you are her own private doll and she proudly shows you off to anyone who comes to visit. When you first wake up in the morning she runs through the house yelling in excitement, “Jellybean’s awake! Jellybean’s awake! Come and see!”

The day you were born she asked me when you were going to walk because she wanted to help you. She was very disappointed to learn that it would take you several months to be strong enough to try walking.

You drool, a lot, all over everything. All of your outfits have gray stains on the front of them. Now I know where all that water I drink when nursing goes to. I’ve considered just dressing you in a fresh dry outfit and then pouring water down the front of it right away to save time, but you soak it in drool about that fast anyway, I figure why bother. Is it a boy thing? Your big brother did that too.

You are very strong and kick and kick and squirm and look like you could power a paddle boat with your feet if you could only get the timing right. It’s getting difficult to hold you still, you wiggle and squirm out of every position.

You have found your people and you recognize us now. When we pass your field of vision you light up and kick and flail and smile, smile, smile. You have a dimple in your right cheek that I just noticed. I don’t know if it was there before or has developed but it’s adorable. You even smiled for your passport photo last week. Sometimes you go straight from smiling to a lip quiver and I’ve started to realize that you were trying to tell me something with those smiles. They really say, “Look at me. I’m cute. I’m being cute so you will pick me up and get me out of this soggy diaper. Wait, no, don’t walk away, I was happy because I thought you were going to fix this situation here. Wait. What’s that other thing I do sometimes to get your attention? Oh right, wahhhhhhh!”

You are surrounded by people who love you. Some of them are really noisy. Sometimes you just want a break. When you get fussy and don’t seem to want me to hold you anymore I take you to a quiet corner and put you down. You just fall asleep by yourself in there, away from all the confusion that is your family. I’m making a lot of moms jealous right now by telling them that.

I’m so glad that you are so good natured and content.

We needed you, you know. You already add things to this family that we didn’t realize we were missing. Your brother and sisters hold you, and take care of you. They are learning from you how to be kind, gentle and responsible.

These are good things.

I love you little boy. I’m so glad you are here.

Your mama