Now I’m a Bit Nervous

We’re eating dinner last night and the Boy was making some irritating noise that was bothering the Girl. After a few rounds of her whining at him to stop it and him ignoring her I absentmindedly open my mouth to say something to him. What I hear myself say is, “Do you think you are being loving toward your sister right now by doing that?”

That’s a bit of a surprise. I don’t normally say that when he’s being irritating. I wonder where that came from.

But it sounds good and I have their attention so I run with it.

“She has asked you to stop, are you showing her love if you ignore her and keep on making that sound?”

“No,” he mumbles, staring down at his plate.

This was sort of working, so I take it a step further and ask the Boy if there is anything that the Girl does that made him feel like she doesn’t love him.

“When she’s ignoring me when I want to talk to her.”

“Okay, now phrase that in a positive way, what could she do to make you feel loved?”

“She could not ignore me?”

“No, what’s the opposite of ignoring you.”

“Uh, not ignoring me?”

I give up.

“She could listen to you. Listening to you makes you feel loved. Anything else?”

“When she plays with me I feel loved.”

Aww, so sweet.

The Girl chimes in, “And when he plays with me I feel loved by him.”

So then we go on to how to show love to Daddy. The girls yells, “HUGS.”

And Mommy. Again the Girls yells, “HUGS.”

And Little, etc.

The conversation between them continues as I pick up my plate and walk away from the table, pleased with myself for so deftly imparting a life lesson and with my children for cooperating for once.

A few minutes later I walk by and hear this exchange.

By the Girl, “Would it make you feel loved if I peed in your mouth?”

[hysterical giggling]

Boy. “Would you feel loved if I POOPED in your ear?”

I’m suddenly hoping they don’t try to show me love without warning. I want a hazmat suit on hand just in case.