To my sweet baby,

I am not a climbing wall. I just thought I’d let you know that since you seem to have mistaken me for one, and my breasts for hand holds. You wake up in the middle of the night, grab onto one of them with both hands and pull yourself up towards it by pinching as hard as you are able and rolling the skin around a little in your tiny grasp. At the same time you use your feet, half kicking half scrabbling for a hold so you can move yourself higher.

I’m not sure if you think nursing is a competitive sport, or if you think you ought to be accomplishing more than one thing at a time. If that second things is to cause me pain and exhaustion than kudos, I believe you have this multi-tasking thing down already.

So here’s a newsflash for you darlin‘, I know you’re just a baby and don’t know this yet so I’ll fill you in. NIGHT TIME IS FOR SLEEPING! I know, it’s totally shocking, but really it is. You should be sleeping right now, not wandering around on the floor looking sweet and following me around with your eyes forcing me to meet your gaze so you can flash your adorable grin at me.

Your post midnight climbing episode has resulted in you being completely awake and quite happy about it. Your daddy and I may never have s*x again. So shut up and go to sleep at nights if you want any more siblings.

Just kidding.

Sort of.

This is totally turning into a baby blog.

Goodnight, I hope.