5 months

It came, it went, I am finally commemorating it. When you turned 5 months there was a lot going on. Daddy was trying to start a new business and bidding on a contract at the same time. He also made himself a knife, two actually but the first became too brittle when he heat treated the steel, and it broke. HE’s a much happier man when he’s doing something creative that daddy of yours. He’s a pretty spectacular guy you know. You lucked out.

Mommy was filling out immigration forms and going cross eyed trying to read the fine print and make sure that every thing was there by squinting at 30 odd pages of directions in what seem to be completely random order. And then I tried to get you a social security number but it’s a little tricky when babies are born out of hospital so it might take me a while to chase down the extra records.

Your older sister is turning into a mother hen, clucking and guiding and taking care of her younger charges, teaching the little 1 and 2 year old girls she plays with how to put their shoes on and holding their hands when they venture toward the playground. She wants to hold you all the time now, and she is having a hard time understanding why she shouldn’t try to touch your eyes. She’s also taken to turning into wax and melting onto the floor with loud shrieks at the slightest provocation, especially when she is told no. It’s a dreadful word, I’m sure that you will come to hate it as well some day becuase it usually reminds short people that they are not in charge and most often means that they will not be getting their way once it’s uttered. OF course, this wax phenomenon also occurs at the sound of the gentler words such as wait, not now, and later, so be prepared for this.

Your big brother has been trying valiantly to stay dry at night, it’s been two weeks and he’s only been successful twice. We are both tired and slightly discouraged that waking him at night to go is not working, and the laundry is piling up and is stinky. We’re trying a new approach this week that I hope will work better. I hope by the time it’s your turn I will have figured out the best way to help with this because right now I feel as though am blundering my way through a dark room that goes on forever. He’s well on the way to mastering adding, he plays the piano for you and makes up songs and has suddenly taken to inviting every child who lives near us over for dinner, or lunch, or to play, and it has been a long time since we didn’t have a house full of kids playing through here and weren’ t setting an extra place at dinner. YOu love all of the attention, YOu have a smile for everyone. UNless you’re tired, then you yell at them all to get out of your house and leave you alone so you can have a nap.

Your Beema’s uncle is dying right now. He has cancer all over his body and bad diabetes and it won’t be long now, his legs have stopped working. He’s gone home from the hospital and daddy and Beema are with him tonight arranging furniture and the new hospital bed so he is comfortable. He is a quiet man, gentle, shy, and thoughtful. He loves playing old songs on his piano. When he smiles he looks like a little boy with an exciting secet, even at his age. You met him once. You were 5 days old, I was tired. I wish I had known that was the last time I would see him, I don’t remember saying goodbye.

Our friends from India are moving away this week. They love to hold you and keep you entertained, calling your name and playing with you all the time. You know their faces now and are usually happy to see them. We’ll all miss them now that they are no longer close neighbors, and their daughter can’t come to play every morning. Well, I won’t miss that part actually, but I will miss them.

You are all that is good about babies. You are smiles and chuckles and excited but largely ineffectual limb flailing. You are stiffness and little hands that don’t let go of hair or clothing; you cling to me now when I carry you. When I sing you look at me in absolute wonder your face alight with pleasure. You are bright eyes and chubby cheeks and toothless grins. You are cute little yoda ears that move when you smile. You are always trying to communicate with us, you never get tired of of our conversations that consist of eye contact and smiles, you stare back in adoration and I can’t stop kissing you. You are all sensation, kisses at the back of your neck, searching with your mouth in response to cheek nuzzles, giggling when you are tickled, arching when you are excited or upset. You are so much fun to play with. I loose track of time playing with you. Our favorite game is when I trick you into kissing me by kissing your cheek so you’ll turn and kiss my lips. You think it’s hysterical, unless you’re hungry, then you get angry. There is no way to truly capture the bounty of the moments I spend with you or the light that is in you.

All I can say is I love you, completely, wholeheartedly, and joyfully.